Combatting People Pleasing

I’ve always wanted people to like me.

It’s been an intense need ever since I was younger and still lingers today.

In grade school, I kept my mouth shut when I disagreed with what someone would say at the bus stop. I’d pick out clothes that resembled my peers. I never shared too much of myself in fear someone wouldn’t like what I liked, thinking it made me an alien.

No matter how hard I tried to fit myself in a box, I could never quite stay inside. My small arms burst out of its walls, unable to be contained. I looked different than everyone else. I acted different than everyone else. I was still so different. There was no way of getting around it.

For years I felt like there was an illuminated neon sign on my forehead spelling out “weird.”

I couldn’t take the sign’s batteries out. I couldn’t snip its power cords. It kept glowing, growing brighter with age. Normalcy was unattainable.

People pleasing has placed a number of fears in my heart. A fear of not putting my best foot forward. A fear of a bad first impression. A fear of rejection regarding my ideas, my appearance, and myself as a whole.

This fear is constantly hungry and won’t stop until its consumed every piece of you.

So stop letting the fear win. You and I were made for more than doubt and insecurity. We’re not supposed to blend in with the masses.

You were not designed for everyone to like you.

Not everyone will embrace you for exactly who you are. Not everyone will agree with where you stand. Not everyone will understand your dreams, but they’re not supposed to. The only person who has to understand your creative spirit is you.

When we get our hands dirty trying to anxiously mold ourselves into something else, we wreck the masterpiece we already are. Stop erasing the best parts of yourself to pencil in what you think others want you to be. You were made for bigger things.

Take people out of the equation. You’ll be a lot happier with the result.

Are you a people pleaser? How do you fight your people pleasing tendencies? Let me know in the comment section below!

Kayla Hollatz